Comment by Magic Marmalade:
Yeah... this ain't good...really.
It feels like Transformers syndrome all over again, in that it doesn't know what audience it's pitching to: Very dark subject matter, and quite adult themes, totally undermined by the adolescent dialogue "bro!") and often painfully embarrassing... er... skits that the unfortunate cast here have to perform.
The "fourth wall" here is broken, not in the traditional sense of people talking to camera, but by me, the viewer, feeling embarrassed for the actors, because of the feeling that they themselves are embarrassed at the handling of this material by new addition to the pantheon of moronic movie making "directors": Emerich / Bay / Snyder, in the shape of James Gunn.
(This dude is now in charge of DC movies, beginning with a new Superman film... Oh oh.... brace for crushing disappointment, and the day hastened of the absolute demise of comic book movies!)
What's weird about this, is the total lack of spark, energy, and whipcrack humour in a kinetic movie experience as in the first two instalments, instead feeling flat, lifeless, draggy, and uncomfortable. The humour, which is the essence of those two previous outings, would be misplaced anyway, given this deals centrally with animal cruelty, experimentation, and Eugenics, but is made worse by the phoned in performances of the principal actors who have clearly had enough of these roles, and are bored with them (and it shows).
James Gunn doesn't know how to make a movie, putting aside whatever he knows about comic books, their characters, or what the comic-con crowd want to see... I mean he has zero timing as a director, either dramatically, or comically....
...Each shot last waaaaaaaay longer than it should, to the extent that they feel like one of those hugs, or a handshakes that has just about tipped over what the recipient would feel comfortable with, and you begin to feel really awkward, and overly aware of the moment.
(You could lose 20 minutes of this epic runtime, just by virtue of chopping the extra flab off these shots alone!)
Another thing, is that the admittedly emotional climax to Rocket's story comes when there's still half hour and more of the movie to go, which seems odd, as this is the basis of the story.
The guards of the giant curly space anus... station... thing, sporting the cheapest, most ridiculous costumes you can conceive of, that are essentially the crudest spray painted foam blobs that make them seem like overgrown waterbears, and this is symbolic of the entire feeling of cheapness on all costume design, sets, pitiful cartoon animals, we are supposed to care about, rather than snigger at - and even the unconvincing CGI scenes, all shot in a very weird manner, that seems to emphasise the fake-ness and studio-ness of the whole affair.
The great tragedy of this is that it has a great idea at the centre, and a potentially brilliant and devastating story to tell, but handled by an artless, clueless meme of a director, who's previous successes don't prevent this, and his Suicide Squad movie exposing him to being found out, as the cinematically dad dancing movie mogul wannabe he really is.
This should have been game changing for this franchise, and comic book movies in general, in adding real depth, and lasting impact, in the manner of say, Watership Down, or Bambi...
... Or if not, it could have been a joyful final outing for these characters....
... instead, it's crass, painfully slow, dull embarrassing, and cheap feeling.
>There is, however, one plus side, or positive.....
(And what a truly huge positive it is too!)
... and that is the villain character, and the actor and his performance of it:
Chukwudi Iwuji as The High Evolutionary, is as good a villain as I've seen anywhere, and the towering performance by Chukwudi is simply astounding, in all the best traditions of all the best villains, he steals the entire show, and make this bum cake of a movie worth watching just for him.
This guy (not a movie regular, it seems, but more a stage actor), is a blooming Superstar!
If I was in Hollywood studio decision making land, I'd sign this guy up for everything and anything I could get him in<
Net result: This is too dark for kids, too juvenile for more mature audiences, which together make a movie too insulting to anyone with intelligence to handle, given the subject.
A flat, weak, wet fart of a movie that goes on way too long to be endured in any confined space in which you watch it.
