Magic Marmalade ● 30th Jun 2024
| | Rated 4/10This is a bad movie.
...Not bad in the sense that others are bad - say, Showgirls, The Room, or something, which are so hilariously bad they deserve some sort of attention for their badness alone. No, this is just bad film-making, with a weird concoction of attempted well worn elements shoe-horned into one film and ends up doing none of them well, if at all.
On the surface, it's a kind of a quirky, misunderstood eccentric genius sleuth (Sherlock style) pursuing a serial killer who's deeds are menacing a city, except, Kevin Kline's sleuth isn't really that quirky, and the puzzles (when he gets to them) are so simplistic and predictable even a 5 year old could deduce them (no need for a genius anyway).
After the opening scene, with the initial murder, the murderer, indeed the whole premise is essentially forgotten about for another 45 minutes - seriously, you forget that there even is one! - and all this time is taken up by giving dubious and contrived backstory his relationship with Susan Sarandon's character, who is in this for some reason, and his brother, played by Harvey Keitel, who is in this for some reason (does absolutely nothing throughout), his new acquaintance / love interest with friend of victim played by Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio, who is in this for some reason, while his friend, played by Alan Rickman, who is in this for some reason, tags along... To round things out, you have two heavyweights of the acting world, Rod Steiger, and Danny Aiello, both capable of great subtlety and brilliance, trying to out-Nicholas Cage each other in wild, unnecessary, bonkers shouting and screaming contests, that are totally inappropriate to the given situation.
To make matters worse - that is worse even than the attempted slapstick humour, totally at odds with the noir-ish tone of the movie - the finale is, well let's say, so underwhelming as to to give underwhelming a bad name: "You mean I sat through this all the way for that!?!".
But it's principle sin, beyond the contrived, "designed" nature of the plot, phoned in performances by an inexplicably stellar cast, and it's general clunky oddness, is that it is boring... tedious, lacking any tension or dynamic, atmosphere or vibe.
...The only reason I watched all the way through was a kind of morbid fascination with it, like: "it's got to be going somewhere with all this, right?", and I was just entranced with seeing how it would tie up, and how this would all make sense in the end... It doesn't.
On the plus side. having found this in the Charity shop yesterday, I begin to see why some MGM dvds are hard to find now, or why you have to pay a little more on the open market for them, as possibly some 80% of the movies are, if not, almost but not quite good, then mostly awful (recent years releases anyway), and did poorly in the cinema, sold poorly on DVD etc. and so there are scarce any about, let alone will they ever appear on streaming services on this basis, or be reissued on physical formats by any major reissuer. Still, I can't help but have a growing fascination for MGM dvds because of it.
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