nboldock 5th Dec 2016
| | A notorious gig - the story of which is here (taken from the Adelphi website)...
Not so hot gig – The Fall
Nearly played: Tuesday 13 June 2000
“With no ceremony or intro tapes, the band are on & bashing away at ‘The Joke’. No Julia, just guitar, bass, drums. Nice clean, punchy sound (as it always is at the Adelphi) & a minute or so later MES is on, looking dapper in suit jacket, upright & sober-sounding. Standard gear-fiddling ensues but, worryingly, no ‘Good evening we are The Fall’ – first gig I’ve seen where he’s left it out. A reorganised ‘Strychnine’ follows, then ‘Antidotes’, ‘Perfect Day’ & ‘And Therein’, all sounding fine if unexceptional. Then the band start playing something I don’t recognise & MES buggers off to the dressing room. Band carry on for a minute or so, then shrug shoulders at each other & bugger off too. After a brief pause (a minute or so) they’re back on & it’s ‘Folding Money’ followed by immediate retreat to the dressing room. L-o-n-g pause this time. The house DJ puts a record on, then they’re back on for ‘Kill Your Sons’. Another hasty retreat & that’s yer lot. Audience hangs around for a while then gradually shuffles off.” (Pete Conkerton)
“The Fall – let’s just say my average wank lasts longer than their last performance!” (Jon McArthur)
“P: The Fall notoriously thrive on an image of unsubstantiated genius, largely due to their position within the Guardianesque gestalt of idiot post-sub-mainstream bohemian detritus, who feel that alternative culture is an exercise in sniffing out the gigs that make them who they want to be. In turn, they feed, like baby rats suckling on their mothers teats, on money.
B: The money of the working stiff.
P: So did you rate the gig?
B: On a scale of one to ten, it was shit.
P: A big bumhole.
B: And for why?
P: Because the gig collapsed in on itself into a big smelly quark that nobody could understand – bar the greatest minds of this planet.
B: I think the thing that got my goat was the shelling out of ten of your English pounds for approximately eleven minutes of incidental quasi-twattishness. The band alone were borderline alright. It was the actions of that whatever-addled alterno-rock lizard preventing them from performing. I would have happily paid a tenner to watch that guy puke on his shoes for twenty minutes.” (Paul Banks and Bruce Hitchcock, Santa’s BuggerBoyz)
“I was so disappointed – even though I know he’s prone to doing that kind of thing. There were a lot of hardened Fall fans in the Adelphi, so I thought he might have made the effort. They didn’t play ‘Mr Pharmacist’ – didn’t have to.” (Martin Deas)
“Two songs and Mark E Smith fucked off and collapsed!!!” (Andrew, Yo-Yo)
(To the tune of ‘My Favourite Things’, kinda…)
“There are plentiful faces (plus Mark e Smith’s double), ‘Cos it’s lacking in attitudes that lead to trouble. The atmosphere’s friendly, conversation spills, Aided by triple and quadruple bills.” (Kenny Archibald, poet)
“There were 2 nice lads from Grimsby who came to see the ‘legend’ and, because they were early, stopped by in the ‘Olde Blacke Boye’ for a pint. Upon leaving they noticed it was raining, and at the same time noticed a prostrate figure lying face down in a puddle. They should probably have left it, but being nice boys they investigated, and found one of the most talented fuckers on the planet, the very fucker they had come to see. A process of logic then set in, and it was decided that one would protect while the other brought the car. An incoherent, dysfunctional Blob was then bundled into the car for transit to the Adelphi and ‘The Show’. During the 7 minute journey he puked over the upholstery & pissed and shat his pants, a fact that was painfully obvious to all present at the Adelphi. The show itself was crap: lasting in total about 30 minutes, of which around 10 could be loosely described as ‘performance’ of a sort. Some of those present thought this was the greatest ‘Fall’ show (of up to 30) that they had ever seen. What did I think? Well, aside from feeling ripped off (I actually paid £1300 of the agreed £1500 because none of the crew had been paid for several nights), I feel strongly that one of the most talented fuckers on this planet is no longer capable of playing a real gig, in front of real people, and that future activities should be restricted to funded and curated Arts/Royal Festival Hall type shows where he can be himself and still be appreciated!”
(Paul Jackson)
Santa’s Buggerboyz’ Fall Benefit Gig
Following The Fall debacle and the heavy losses sustained by the club, local heroes Santa’s BuggerBoyz stepped in to parody the gig that The Fall failed to present and raise big money in the process. Expectations were high, but they only raised about thirty quid in the end – but the good intention was there. The following review of this gig was found on an obscure Fall internet site:
“Another Fal |