Three blind rats, see how they run.
Hitler, Benito, and then the Jap,
They all started out with a yip and a yap,
And they all wound up with their tails in a trap.
Three blind rats.
From Newfoundland to Guadalcanal
The Yankees chased the Axis.
Rootie-toot-toot they give 'em the boot.
[Whoot!] goes the Axis.
A heel and a toe and a pokio
Doolittle do'ed it to Tokio.
Booted 'em on their hidey-ho.
[Whoot!] goes the Axis.
Mother Goose is busy,
Keepin' up with the times.
The world has gone so dizzy,
She's had ta rewrite her nursery rhymes.
London bridge is all blowed up,
So the Germans say,
And Yankee Doodle came to town
Should now be sung this way:
Oh, Adolf Hitler came to town
Ridin' on a cannon.
Yankee Doodle turned him 'round
And gave his pants a fannin'.
They chased him here,
They chased him there,
And got him in position,
Stuck a pitchfork where they should
And hurt his intuition.
Good morning, Schicklgruber,
Why did you break so soon?
You swore that you would rule the world
And maybe the stars and moon.
What happened to that super race
You had in '39?
Mein Kampf has backfired in your face
And trickled down your spine.
Oh vere oh vere is that Rudolph Hess?
Oh vere, oh vere can he be?
I sent him to England a long time ago.
I vonder if he stayed for tea?
Jingle bells, jingle bells,
Jingle all the way.
Oh what fun when the German run
From a great big Russian sleigh.
Oh jingle bells, jingle bells,
Look at them Russians grin.
They're dreamin' of a Red Christmas
Marchin' thru Berlin.
My grandad said he sang this song to the girl he left behind him
He kissed her brow and made a vow he swore would always bind him
'Twas in the days when girls were shy and corsets, wigs, and bustles,
But how they've changed as the years went by to slacks, sarongs and muscles.
I thought of that song not long ago as the parting tears did blind me
And the lipstick smeared all over my face, I left it there to remind me.
She swore without me she would die, as her loving armed entwined me
And I never knew she winked her eye at the guy who stood behind me.
I got aboard a battleship to sail the mighty ocean
And I thought my uniform would rip, so full of love and devotion.
I swore I'd win this war alone, if that job were assigned me.
Then a hero, I would sail back home to the dame I left behind me.
I got myself so durn pepped up, I went to see the captain.
I wish that I had known right then just what was 'bout to happen.
For in the room I saw a sight I thought would surely blind me.
On the captain's desk was a picture of that dame I left behind me.
The captain's face lit up with pride and he spoke to me so kindly.
"Young man," he said, "You're looking at the girl I left behind me."
I couldn't help but smile and say, "Blest be the ties that bind us."
As I handed him my picture of that dame we left behind us.
The first time I went home again I saw my old granddaddy
And I asked him 'bout that vow he made when he was just a laddy.
He said the sorrow on my face, it surely did remind him
That gals ain't changed a dad blam bit from the one he left behind him.