Surreal rom-com noir.

I have been hearing about this increasingly over the years, and always intended to see what the buzz was about.

A couple of things put me off though, principally Adam Sandler... who's name induces cringes in me, as I really do not like his usual comedic style, or the films he tends to be in.

The other thing being that the "buzz" was a very kind of low level one, so I just kept of forgetting about it. So I was pleasantly surprised when the DVD turned up in the charity shop the other week, when I went to buy a stack of DVDs and books in anticipation of the next lockdown.

It's strange... damn strange!

And probably all the better for it, as it has a bizarre, unsettling quality in the film-making style that subverts the romantic comedy basis of the plot.

Sandler's character is a lonely, messed up, angst ridden, paranoid (certainly mentally ill) "entrepreneur" who works out of an industrial unit in the middle of some drab, nowhere town, and who's hobbies include collecting free air miles tokens from puddings in supermarkets, in bulk, and generally getting fixated and obsessive with things, as well as evading the attempts of his many sisters trying to set him up with a date, or at the very least, pull him out of himself and be more sociable...

...And so one of the women introduced to him: Emily Watson, inexplicably comes to like him, and want to go out with him, in spite of his apparent lack of interest, inappropriate social responses, unpredictably excessive behaviours, and generally insular, festering nature.

In the background is this bizarre and nightmarish sub-plot that develops when he phones a sex line one evening when he feels particularly lonely, and then becomes the subject of a campaign of spiralling persecution and victimisation by the woman he was talking to, and the whoever she is working for.

It all makes for a distinctly uneasy, claustrophobic experience, which is further enhanced by these kind of Rothko inspired art-installation type interludes / transition films, and the clunky, odd, and dissonant, and non-musical random noise soundtrack, which can induce you, the viewer to feel like you're half nuts yourself, or getting there!

Not the kind of film you'd usually associate with anyone in the cast, or even the director, Paul Thomas Anderson....

...It's more the feel of a Charlie Kaufman scripted, Michel Gondry / Spike Jonze directed affair, perhaps inspired by a dystopian Franz Kafka paranoia novel.

So think: Being John Malkovich, Enternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind, Synecdoche New York, The Trial, plus one of your own, more low key, disturbing nightmares, and you're in the ballpark of where this is coming from.

And finally, it comes to talking about Adam Sandler... because he for once, gives a very compelling, subtle, understated, brooding, twitchy, oppressed and introverted performance that it turns out he's really rather good at, and which was needed to sell this film, if it was to succeed.

In all, this Noir-ish surreal rom-com is a refreshing change in subverting the usual rom-com ideas, even if it is nuts, and for that, you will probably either like it, or absolutely hate it, but I don't think this is ever going to be an all time favourite of anyone's... more a cult-classic / semi mythical movie hat will be spoken of in certain circles occasionally as being a benchmark of what the possibilities are within that genre, at least.... It's influence probably exceeds it's excellence, but for that reason, worth watching at least once in your life.

6 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Here's a film which is rarely talked about, often ignored in favour of other snow covered Neo Noir's: Fargo (undoubtedly a better film) and A Simple Plan (arguably a better film).

A small town cop uncovers a web of corruption after a man mysteriously dies in a hunting accident. What he finds absolutely breaks him.

I'm a big fan of films that are "the American dream gone wrong"; Sunset Blvd being the epitome. Nick Nolte gives a phenomenal performance as the seemingly nice guy cop (Wade Whitehouse) who depending on which way you look at it either becomes corrupt or just broken by a system he can't control. For me the stand-out performance is James Coburn as Wade's alcoholic, bullying father, for which he won an academy award for best supporting actor. A role turned down by James Garner and Paul Newman because they thought the character was too mean. Also credit to William Defoe being cast against type and playing the laidback, academic brother and not his usual sinister bad guy.

Affliction came out before incredibly dumbed-down movies became de rigueur for Hollywood. Affliction is highly regarded, but often overlooked. It is dialogue heavy and slow moving with a down beat ending. Audiences have become more intelligent, but Hollywood feels the need to spoonfeed us obvious plots with characters with as much depth as a gnat's urine sample. Affliction is a genuinely deep character study with existential themes typical of Paul Schrader. In a year of great films: Fargo, Secrets & Lies, Lone Star and Sling Blade Affliction still deserved more of a look. Trust me it's better than Shine, Emma and The English Patient.

2 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

This film was absolutely massive. Its success was now doubt greatly improved by having the Coolio song "Gangsta's Paradise" on the soundtrack. Gangsta's Paradise is one of the best selling singles of the 90s and a genuinely good song.

An idealistic teacher tries to help struggling kids in a deprived innercity school. She comes up against gang violence and teenage pregnancy.

A big fuss was made about Michelle Pfeiffer's acting in this. It's Pfeiffer being Pfeiffer. I'm not saying she isn't good, but the role could have been played by Diane Keaton, Kim Bassinger or Sharon Stone. It's a generic, underwritten role with little room for depth.

Dangerous Minds feels like TV movie of the week. I've seen it multiple times and it never fail to underwhelm me, rather than standing the test of time, it feels more dated than it is. It's a middle-budgeted, nicely shot and well acted drama, but offers nothing you hadn't seen a million times before even in 1995. Class of 1984 does the idealistic teacher theme with aplomb or there's Good Will Hunting for a better film based around teaching.

5 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Class Of 1984 has a notorious reputation. In the UK it was banned for its cinema release and later heavily cut for VHS, fortunately it was released uncut on DVD. Some theaters in USA refused to show it and it had MPAA cuts for an R rating.

Mark L. Lester is undoubtedly a B-Movie director, but he hit paydirt with Commando thanks to Arnie being one of the biggest actors of the late 80s\early 90s and it's a genuinely good film. Class of 1984 is also fondly remembered garnering cult status on VHS.

Class of 1984 does a number of thing rights. It is basically a "home invasion" movie set in a school. It adds slasher elements towards the end with some truly nasty death scenes and good special-effects. Mark L. Lester can undoubtedly craft good action sequences.

A big deal has been made about Michael J. Fox being in this film. Ignore it, he is very young and unrecognisable. Instead focus on Timothy Van Patten as the intimidating and intelligent bully and gang leader Stegman. Roddy McDowall also puts in a scene stealing performance as the broken science teacher. Perry King is very good as the idealist, turned vigilante music teacher, but he doesn't half chew the scenery. That said he was already a veteran of sleazy B-movies by the time this film came out.

Class of 1984 is a violent and scary trip of a film. I think it is love it or hate it, but it delivers on white knuckle thrills and it's a darn site more entertaining than the dull box office smash "Dangerous Minds".

8 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

It’s like West Side Story meets Jason and the Argonauts on crack!

...And with a heavy feel of Escape From New York and idea or two borrowed from Vanishing Point (The DJ).

I watched this by mistake the other day when it was on telly late night...

...The programme I was watching had ended and this started, while I was playing with my phone; when the deep seventies Carpenter-esque vibe of the music and visuals came on I looked up and thought: “WTF is this!?!”

Very atmospheric, but absolutely mental!

It drew me in, and I was mesmerised by it right through to the end.

Preposterous and absurd plot and premise, with identikit gangs from someone's surreal nightmare punctuated with some of the worst acting you've ever seen...

All the reasons I loved it! :)

I mean, there's even a gang on roller skates!!!

As they battle to journey through the city to get back to their turf after being accused of assassinating the “Big Cheese” of the gang world, and the word gets out to the other gangs to get them, I wondered if the people who made it were totally or stoned, or I was!

...And the amount of early / first time actors in this that you recognize from later fame is incredible (even saw Mercedes Ruehl in this)... and it took me a while to figure if the lead actor (Mr. Beck, of course) may or may not have been Jon Bon Jovi or not.

Nuts... Wonderfully bonkers and nuts!

7 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Wonderful movie!

I missed this first time around, as I think there was a lot else going on at the time to take attention away from it, and the reviews were not particularly inspiring... And also Jim Carey's over the top-ness had begun to wear a little thin for me.

But he thankfully gives a very understated, straight up performance in this understated, slow paced, and yes, very sentimental film.

It's not without it's faults of course, mainly in that it almost seems to be "designed" to be what it is:

"What do people like in a movie? - let's take all those pieces, and make a whole new movie from them"

...As such, you'll frequently see immediately where plot points, and other ideas are from other movies as it goes (at least one of which, Carey has been in himself: Truman Show!)
, and many other things that are not wholly original, but well worn, tried and trusted formula:

A big city type gets stuck out in a quaint pastoral town with traditional values (Doc Hollywood), in this case, a Hollywood screenwriter, and he's got there by having an accident in which he loses his memory, and is taken to be one of the old residents, who was thought o have been killed in the war, now returned (Isn't there a Richard Gere movie along those lines?)

...But the townsfolk welcome him "home", and especially his "ex-girlfriend", and "father", owner of a dilapidated old cinema that the re-invigoration of the townsfolk his arrival inspires, promotes a possible return to glory days.

It's perhaps loaded with too much by way of plot points, as it's set in McCarthy era Communist hunting America, and his accident is had whilst "fleeing" such persecution, as well as a big theme of honouring local war heroes, and also added to the mix, is the cinema aspect.

But in the end (and this is a reasonably long film) it does tie together... somewhat.

And they really threw the kitchen sink at this, with lots of actors you'd both remember, and love: Martin Landau, the dude from MASH, and at least a couple of the actors from Shawshank Redemption (Brooks) and Green Mile.

But it's a very sentimental, slow paced, meandering, warm, cosy movie with a Nat King Cole soundtrack and such, that is great for a Sunday afternoon's viewing, sitting on the sofa feeling squishy :)

5 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Katrin Cartlidge stars as Claire Dolan a high-class, but jaded Irish call-girl, turning tricks for her pimp, a menacing Colm Meaney (as Roland Cain) after her mother dies Claire wants to become a mother and meets a good-natured if slightly stalker-ish cab driver, Elton Garrett (an emotionally complex Vincent D'Onofrio).

I've seen Lodge Kerrigan's earlier film Clean, Shaven. Arguably one of the best obscure films of the 90s. Claire Dolan has a similar style in that it is social-realist and filmed almost like a documentary. It also has a clinical, sterile approach with minimal lighting,set design and even dialogue. In all honesty this is the film's biggest fault; it feels soulless. The scenes were I should feel more for the characters involved, I just didn't. That's not to say the film isn't engaging. There's enough drama to keep it interesting and with a runtime of just over 90 minutes it moves along at a fair pace. It also doesn't scrimp on the sex scenes with some fairly explicit scenes.

The film is believable in terms of story. I couldn't connect with any of the characters. That's not a slight on the acting, everyone is excellent; I just didn't feel for them. Colm Meaney is good in everything, but it is rare for him to play malicious characters. His roles are often reduced to Irish gangsters, priests or fatherly guys. It's nice to see him being cast against type. Katrin Cartlidge is an excellent and an underrated actress. I first saw her in Naked (1993) and despite having the chops she never really became an A-lister. She is a bit cold and austere in this role, which I'm sure is intentional, but not really convincing as a call-girl. Compare and contrast with "Secret Diaries Of A Call Girl" while a total fantasy much like the book itself in omitting the more sinister aspects; Billie Piper had the look and glamour of a stereotypical call girl.

It's a difficult film to see which is a shame. While not a brilliant film I preferred almost lost British drama, Prostitute (1980), Import/Export (2007) and Call Girl (2012). Claire Dolan does everything right, but it just didn't click with me.

6 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Difficult one for me to review because I really wanted to enjoy it, but there's too much about it that annoyed me. I'm not a horror film snob and this year I enjoyed My Bloody Valentine (1981) and Happy Death Day 2U. I think Us fails to live up to the hype. On one hand it wants to be gory home invasion movie on the other some sort of intelligent neo-slasher, to me it is an over long messily plotted borefest.

The main source of annoyance was the ham-fisted horror film references. The son is called Jason, I'm guessing Freddy and Issac were also in the running. Then you have a bad patchwork quilt of 90s pop culture. One of the brats says "what's Home Alone?", "what's Micro Machine?" Then there's the soundtrack: NWA, Luniz "I Got 5 On It" - both overused and not really obscure or interesting enough to make anyone over the age of 30 to take notice. You can clearly see when love and care has gone into a soundtrack if it is personal: The Sopranos TV series being the obvious example.

It's tries so hard to be clever and funny, but it just fell flat for me. Hearing the Ice Cube on the soundtrack say "bloodbath" to gory scissor stabbings. Please spare me. That said, the name of the Yacht was funny, I will give them that.

Maybe it's ennui on my part, but I don't know were Us fits. If you want an intelligent Home Invasion movie: Funny Games (1997) while not quite brilliant is still the business, de-constructed horror post-80s Wes Craven, for a solid gory horror French film, Inside.

Two hours of people being stabbed with scissors, obvious pop culture references to the 80s and 90s by people with a PhD in reading Wikipedia and a bunch of bad gurning guys who sound like they have strep throat. Not my idea of fun.

I know a film isn't great when I check the runtime and I want it to end and there's nearly an hour left. Even worse I was thinking "what I could be watching instead?" Martin, The Exorcist, American Werewolf.

7 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

The Lonely lady is considered something of a flop. It was nominated for 11 Golden Raspberry Awards at a time when the Razzies actually held water. Judging by the poster art the film was marketed almost as an erotic thriller, a genre that died off by the mid-90s with the coup-de-grâce being Showgirls.

Doe-eyed Pia Zadora plays a naive novelist who tries to make it as a Hollywood screenwriter. To get a leg up, she must get a leg over and ends up having sex with various men in brief, but quite graphic scenes.

The film feels a bit like a TV movie in premise and it is a well crafted film, but it manages to feel cheap. The film has had a bit of a resurgence as it is regarded as camp in the same league as the aforementioned Showgirls, but this is nowhere near as much fun. This is an OK watch if you go in with low expectations and it's not as bad as the reviews suggest.

Pia Zadora enjoyed a modicum of success both as an actress and singer, but she never quite became a household name, but is instantly recognisable as she looks like nobody else. I think she has been unfairly slated as she is convincing in this film.

The Blu-Ray from Shout Factory features a nice print and is about as good as it gets.

5 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

The illegitimate son of John Waters and the father of Todd Solondz. Neil LaBute with the austere edge. These are some comparisons I've invented to describe this film.

The plot is straight out of a lavish 80s soap opera. Chicano manservant and a body building chauffeur make a bet to see which one can bed their female boss first.

Films about sex are rarely sexy. Scenes manages to be tongue in cheek and surprisingly graphic in its handling of sex, but also funny with it. By going for a campy approach it manages to avoid the usual trappings of being boring. By comparison black comedy, The Opposite Of Sex was more subtle, but h had zero laughs for me. I was also reminded of Clueless another store about middle class suburbia, but without the acrid, briny tang.

Class Struggle is hilarious and biting with its satire and managed to be more than just a send-up of bad Soap Operas and Sitcoms. It has actors who are in on the joke and understand the absurdity of the material and a strong script with genuine heartfelt drama as well as a high hit rate for funny one liners.

6 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

I'm a big fan of Brit Crime and I've seen some crackers this year: The Squeeze and Clash By Night being two barely anyone talks about. The Offence is another one hardly anybody mentions. It's not quite up there with Get Carter, Brighton Rock and The Long Good Friday, but it is excellent in its own way.

Sean Connery plays Johnson a police Sergeant investigating a child murder and rape case. When the film started I thought he was playing a typical nasty bastard. What he manages to do is bring humanity and believability to a role which could easily end up being camp. Vivien Merchant is also brilliant as his long suffering wife, a role which could easily end up being one dimensional. Fellow Scot, Ian Bannen also brilliant as the criminal held in custody who manages to be creepy, but also smart. And of course veteran actor, Trevor Howard is intense as Johnson's superior.

Sidney Lumet always gets superb performances from his actors and can make two people talking in a room incredibly immersive. Sadly these are now rare skills from directors who are overly reliant on special effects and shock tactics to mask paper-thin plots and weak characterisation.

Despite being made in the early 1970s the film is still shocking now. There's been many films dealing with child sexual abuse since. Silly and laughable vigilante films like "Hard Candy", misguided humanising films like "The Woodsman" or sensationalised victim films "No Child Of Mine". What is lacking in modern films like "Blitz" and "Harry Brown" is they are perfectly fine films but don't have any depth. There's a real lack of existential films dealing with Sartrean suffering and pathos.Sean Connery plays a broken man who can't be fixed and conveys more in 20 minutes than it takes some two television series to do. The script is also sharp: "It's funny the more I drink, the more sober I get." Indeed. This film wasn't the success people thought it would be with the star power of Sean Connery, it was too dark and too beguiling, but it's all the better for it.

7 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

I'm not sure what to make of this one. On one hand it is a very good movie with powerful performances and looks a lot more expensive than its paltry (by Hollywood standards) $2 million budget suggests. On the other I feel a bit disappointed and as though I've seen it all before.

A teenage girl, Kayla (Elsie Fisher) posts Self-help and motivation YouTube Videocasts\V-Logs; subjects like "self-esteem" and "making friends". In real life we learn she is socially anxious and a bit of an outcast. Meanwhile her Dad (Josh Hamilton) is a smothering and finds it difficult to bond with her, mainly because she is getting older.

I'm not sure how much of this film is based on comedian Bo Burnham's own life. Bo is absolutely massive in USA, but in the UK very few people have heard of him and would probably think he was mainly known as a film director; I don't know the British equivalent: David Baddiel maybe?

The acting is believable and it manages to be less annoying than most teen movies. Juno I found irritating due to clunky dialogue. Eighth Grade manages to just avoid "this is how teens talks". I've seen very similar plots in American Beauty with Mena Suvari's subplot, but this is less of a boot in the face in terms of impact. One can't help but be reminded slighted of John Hughes films as they are pretty much the prototype; Eighth Grade is less sugary and more open ended.

It's a solid film with solid performances, but for me it just lacks the magic touch.

6 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

The Freakmaker is about a crazy scientist (Donald Pleasence) who creates half-human, half-plant hybrids for his circus freakshow. Eventually the "freaks" turn on him.

The film is directed by Jack Cardiff who is best known as a cinematographer creating a stunning body of work with films like: The Red Shoes and Black Narcissus. His directioral films have not been as critically acclaimed; they came out at a time when the British film industry was heading towards ruin. The Girl On A Motorcycle is a very good existential biker film with some stunning photography. The Freakmaker has some excellent time lapse photography of plants and some great performances from Donald Pleasence who hams it up, but still manages to be creepy and insidious. A young Tom Baker who has good screen presence and is physically imposing as he is over six feet tall. Julie Ege is a cult film actress who is an underrated actress and this film gives her something to do other than take her clothes off.

I consider it to be an above average B-Movie horror with some genuinely disturbing moments and it manages to be a bit more than a campy homage to Tod Browning's "Freaks". The Blu-Ray from Diabolik has great colour bringing out the garish palette and features clear Mono sound.

7 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Finally got around to seeing this again the other day... after about twenty years!

With the residual impression of the "action" in the tobacconists, I'd forgotten how much more there was to it; A character piece which only centres around the New York tobacconist owned by Harvey Keitel's Auggie...

More prominently, there's William Hurt as a writer who has lost his wife in an accident, and is essentially floating around, and living by habit alone, and in an existential funk, until he almost gets killed stepping into the road while a little zoned out in a daydream, and is saved by a young (apparently homeless) guy, who he offers to take in for a couple of nights by way of thanks.

And then Auggie's ex girlfriend turns up out of the blue after many years seeking a favour, and with big news that's sure to rock his quiet little world.

The many character's stories intertwine and have significance and repercussions for each other (as they usually do in this kind of New York story kind of movie).

But overall it's an engaging and quirky little film, with lots of warmth, and makes a nice break from the usual CGI extravaganza as modern cinema exclusively provides these days.

Not sure if one or two of the character dynamics have aged particularly well, in light of modern mores, but if you can get over that, it really is a great little movie, that might make a good, off the beaten track - Thanksgiving movie for our American friends (if they are tired of the usual staples for this time of year).

(There's also a funny little dialogue free video story at the end which illustrates Auggie's Christmas story as he tells it to Benjamin - and all set to a great Tom Waits tune).

3 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

What a bloody awful film. The dirty version of Mind Your Language.

A group of Au Pair girls from different countries: Germany, Holland and Sweden (I think) to be fair the accents and characters are interchangeable. They come to England to do housekeeping duties. What we are treated to are a bunch of dirty old men trying it on with younger "crumpet" and a distasteful subplot were an Au Pair is goaded to lose her virginity.

The film starts off promising with some impressive airport footage and a good theme song. After that the jokes are women being caught in the shower by a husband and wife and crass stereotypes. I've lost a rib. The women are incredibly attractive, but with such a threadbare plot you would get more enjoyment flipping through a 1970s Pirelli Calendar. Like a lot of these British Sex Comedies they feel like an overlong sitcom episode with no jokes and full frontal female nudity. Not worth your time.

Blu-Ray from Jezebel has a pretty good print with soft colours and is an upgrade from DVD, but not massively. Audio is only Mono, but is lossless. Best of all is it is region free.

4 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

** Spoilers Ahead **

Fairly obscure and downbeat "home invasion" exploitation film from Spain.

A pacifist lawyer who regularly defends down and out criminals has her Mini stolen. After finding some of her documents in her car the bad guys plan to rob the "rich bitch". The home invasion ends with Adela's husband being shot in the head by accident after he struggles to defend himself. A bit of stalking later and things come to a head with an unnecessarily graphic rape and some violent scenes.

The violence is graphic with massive blood splatters and bloody bullet wounds showing flesh. Clearly taking influence from splatter slasher movies of the 1970s and 1980s. This is a relatively short film at around 100 minutes with a lot of boring dialogue bits. It lacks the punch of taught violent thrillers like "Rabid Dogs" and "Bloody Friday". It's an OK film and despite being made in the early 80s it has lost none of its ability to shock.

The version I saw was the recent Blu-Ray from Mondo Macabro which has a superb 4K print with no archive damage from what I can tell and is about as good as it gets for a film most people will have seen on bootleg VHS. The subtitles were accurate conveying the nastiness of the thug's abuse. Unfortunately audio is only 2.0, but the levels are loud and balanced.

5 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Well this one surprised me, at how well it's actually aged...

...At least, it wasn't anywhere near as disastrous as I'd expected to have done so!

Having not seen it since the nineties, when things like this, and it's brilliant predecessor Clerks were my thing, I was happy to stumble across the DVD again at a boot fair.

Basically, an ultimate slacker movie centred around the relationship between the grossly immature and overly geeky and intense Brodie (Jason Lee), and his girlfriend Rene (Shanen Doherty), who he is ingrave danger of losing as she wants him to grow up, and stop being such a complete tool, he sets off on an everyday oddysy / adventure / quest to win her back in the local shopping mall, with the aid of his friends, including the stallwarts Jay and Silent Bob.

And with Ben Affleck continuing his mean jock promoted to local store manager in a sharp suit asshole role with aplomb stealing Rene away to the approval of her dad played by Michael Rooker,.. who together, play the Darth Vader and Emperor to Brodie's low rent Luke Skywalker in what is basically a low rent, everyday Star Wars episode in a shopping mall death star.

Of course, Kevin Smith was well into comic books, comic lore, Sci-Fi and cultural references long before Marvel had even conceived of it's global cinematic dominion, so this was pretty obscure at the time of release, and has actually grown in relevance as the rest of the world has caught up with it, in it's cultural preferences.

This even has Stan Lee in it!!!

So while it has actually done the reverse thing of the more common thing of ageing badly, the other surprise is how actually (relatively) enlightened it's attitudes to men and women's relationships are...

(for the time, and it still has the odd wobbly moment, but nothing that can't be forgiven :)

...But actually quite funny still and with quite a sharp wit all round.... lot's of fun.

A great way to spend a couple of hours, hanging out in the mall with flaky friends, while plotting the downfall of the evil empire :)

7 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Here's an old review I wrote:

Based on a story by Quentin Blake. Channel 4 marketed this short film as a Christmas event much like: The Tiger Who Came To Tea last year. Clown features the iconic artwork of Quentin Blake. I've been a fan since I read Roald Dahl books as a child.

The story is a simple and derivative one about a clown toy who gets discarded as the owner grows too old to have toys. The clown comes alive and goes on an adventure to find a new owner. Similar themes have been used in Toy Story (1994) and Raggedy Ann (1974 onwards). Given its short running time Clown is the lightest in terms of depth. The star of the show is the animation and music. Largely produced by an Italian company, it is frankly beautiful. Helena Bonham Carter does a fine job of narrating the story.

Given the hype surrounding this it's easy to be disappointed. I think it is style over substance, but it is infinitely charming.

6 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

It was poorly made, badly acted, and pure exploitation of the lamest music genre ever. But dammit, it was fun. Sure, Jeff Goldblum's early performance is an embarrassment, but teenage Terri Nunn is a total hoot. The late disco diva, Paul Jabara, is also a campy treat. Then there's Donna Summer, the Commodores, and a truckload of Casablanca Records disco music. The dopiest scene is perhaps the roadie for the Commodores trying to prove to a cop that he's with the band, completely stupid. Or the dancing Hispanic, Marv the Leatherman, who proclaims, "I love to dance...everything else is boolshit!" Still, I liked the movie, all of it.

7 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Haunted house movie's greatest hits tribute movie.

This is, although full of perfectly serviceable scares, creeps, chill, and jumps, nothing anyone has not seen before, and although "based on a true story" etc. it is basically assembled from a dozen different (And better) movies...

...There's Amityville, The Exorcist, Chucky (There's a haunted / possessed doll in here too), Poltergeist, and a plethora of different ghost siting "documentary" tropes in it.

Predictable, and largely dull.

Either the writers have got to get some new material, or the ghosts do.

4 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

This is the one that started the whole whale harpoon vs. pistol showdown craze. The opening sequence is a trailer for the ending, which was a very strange device in a film not afraid of strange devices. Sebastian Cabot is particularly impressive. Other than the obvious twist, this was a rather generic, if offbeat, western.

5 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

What a difficult film to rate. For the average viewer, it's an easy 1-star and probably the worst film you will ever see. But for the cult movie fan, how far is too far?

Over the years, I have seen this film name-dropped in various psychotronic zines, but I have always turned away and pretended to see nothing. As a fan of H.G. Lewis from way back, it just didn't seem conceivable that he could have a kiddie matinée in his filmography, not the guy who gave us gouged-out tongues, feasts made of internal organs, wacky fun-loving psychotic redneck ghosts, and the first horror film to delve into the wig fetish thing. The only saving grace is the fact that Lewis was at least a competent film maker, albeit in a grindhouse world. Certainly not in the realm of trash like "Santa and the Ice Cream Bunny"! WRONG.

It is the first day of school and little Jimmy wishes time would stop, so in true unexplainable fashion, a magical (and portly) woman named Aurora appears, which leads the two on a journey to the world's end to restart time, while a ridiculous adversary, a wizard named Mr. Fig, does everything to hinder their quest. Along the way, the world gets tinted red and then blue (and then red and blue!), they get redirected to a land of slow-motion, stumble upon a fountain of laughing syrup, and inexplicably encounter a group of what we are supposed to believe are hostile Indians who look like frat boys with New England accents, that are ultimately consoled when Aurora creates a shower of beans. The injuns, Aurora, and Jimmy all eat uncooked beans from a cauldron while singing a terrible song detailing the sheer wonderfulness of this tasty snack.

Oh, there are other songs, too, all sung barely in-sync and with the same animated gestures you might expect from a play performed by second graders. Like all of the very worst children's films of all time, the origin is yet again, Florida. Why is that? Every time a news story comes on about a horrible crime against children, kids buried alive, tortured by parents, etc. ...it always ends up happening in Florida. And it seems every time an atrocity from the kiddie matinée galaxy is unearthed from someone's basement, the filming location is Florida. I used to like that state when I was a kid and it was all about St. Petersburg, Tampa, Miami Beach, Busch Gardens, and that whole beautiful parrot thing. But now, it's a children's torture dungeon.

Like the previously mentioned Santa film, in the middle of the action, we get whisked into another film (presumably because Lewis ran low on 8mm film stock), which turns out to be an imported cartoon. It teaches a lesson to Jimmy only because of H.G.'s clever dubbing skills, but even that lesson is highly suspect: Jimmy complains that he's only eight and a half years old, just a kid, tired and wants to go back home...he's famished from all of this action, but Aurora lies to him and tells him the story of another boy who never gave up. I guess she's pro child labor, I dunno, but the real labor pains are on the screen.

It should go without saying that the acting is godawful. How they came to choose young Dennis Jones to star in the title role of a theatrical feature film is mind-numbing. He possesses no charisma, no speaking (or singing) talent, is visually as generic as a faceless window mannequin, and brings nothing to the role that might possibly involve a young viewer to identify or sympathize with him. Oh, like they were gonna hire an actor! My guess is that Lewis cast the son of the guy who owned the cheapo amusement park where they filmed this as a trade-out. I've seen stalks of celery give stronger performances.

This doesn't look or feel like what you would expect an H.G. Lewis family film to look or feel like. More like John Waters. If you seek more convincing, heart-warming, feel-good family fare, you'd be better off surfing over to YouTube and searching for old Cracker Jack commercials.

In conclusion, this may well be one of the best films ever made.

5 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

West End Jungle is a fake documentary with staged scenes. Set in the West End of London it is a morality story with the intention of showing titillating sex scenes and nudity. Due to the time this film came out there is no real nudity shown just a few underwear shots.

The film mainly features men going to clip joints, seeing prostitutes and it ends with a street walker being picked up by the police. All sleazy stuff backed up by a cynical albeit excellently written narration track.

The version I saw was the Strike Force Entertainment DVD release from the UK. It is rated 15 and features a superb print and good sound which could do with being a bit louder. This is a 50 minute film and it is a bit expensive at £10+

Director Arnold L Miller went on to make London in The Raw and Primitive London which are more of the same and worth watching. The cinematographer was Stanley Long who made the forgettable British Sex Comedies series The Adventures of...

9 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Pretty poor to be honest, but not unenjoyable. Starts were the last film left off with Jim and Michelle getting married, but the wedding doesn't run smooth. Eugene Levy is always good value and there's a memorable scene of a "dance off" with Seann William Scott as Stifler. Unfortunately, the film suffers from bad tropes of the time including language which could be considered homophobic and some slightly creepy scenes of Stifler hitting on older women. The film seems mild today in terms of sexual and scatological humour especially compared to something like The Inbetweeners, but it's also not as funny.

5 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Back in the day a few of my friends had been to see Jubilee, and they were all in agreement that it was a bore. Being into punk like my friends, I just couldn't understand how a punk film could possibly be boring - until I saw it, that is. Maybe my friends and I weren't expecting such a theatrical approach, or maybe we were just not sophisticated or patient enough to 'get' it.. either way, the experience wasn't a good one. Dull in extremis, and pretentious to boot; matters were not helped by the fact that the projector broke down about halfway into the film, and the cinema manager came out to ask the audience for patience as it 'really is worth your time' (or so he said). Resigned to having travelled and paid to be there at this flea pit in Soho to see it, my girlfriend and I stayed put but all we got for our efforts were heavy eyelids and numb backsides. Three memorable moments however linger in my mind; the first is Adam Ant's inability to suppress his laughter during one scene - no doubt because he realised how daft the whole thing must look and he was amused by the concept of people parting with good money to watch this nonsense. The two others are musical ones - Adam And The Ants performing "Plastic Surgery", and Maneaters doing "Nine To Five", where an almost unrecognisable Toyah ends the song by spitting directly at the screen. I know exactly how she felt.

8 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Feels like a made for TV production...

...A bit cheap, with ideas above it's station.

There's moments of pretty wobbly (literally!) camera work early on, and it feels like it's setting itself up to rehash an old idea of a psychological thriller about what if everyone forgot about someone you knew except you, and presenting itself as something more profound, but with that whole NCIS vibe going on.

For this reason, I was not impressed early on, feeling it was miles below where it thought it wanted to be...

...At the same time, I was perplexed at the truly astonishing cast in this, for such a cheapo production... contractual obligation? .... tax loss enterprise?

...But no, as it very soon answered all my queries, and allayed my fears, by showing itself for what it truly was... an extended Twilight Zone episode... now it all makes sense!

And judged on that basis, it got better and better in the watching, using that basic premise merely as a platform for a mystery / conspiracy film. And especially the rather cruddy music score over the top, suddenly it made all the sense in the world:

I mention Twilight Zone, when actually, this has all the hallmarks of The X-Files!

It is basically that... a not overly long (hour and a half) episode of the X-files, which, if you love that series, you'll more than probably like this> In fact, I'm certain you will.

A few twists, some nicely genuinely surprising moments, and a good evening watch on the TV.

(Probably suffered on a cinema screen by virtue of it's shortcomings in this regard, but on the TV, late night... much more at home!)

5 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

An extraordinary film.

An historical piece, which serves to record a shameful event in British history, it centres around the immediate aftermath of the victory at Waterloo, where proud and preening aristocracy and ruling classes overtaxed, and underserved the struggling people of Manchester, Lancashire, who having basically delivered this victory through the expense of their blood, sweat, and indeed, tears, were all but forgotten in their demands for some basic subsistence, and the representation in Parliament that would give it to them...

....Naturally, they began to get more than a little agitated, and were threatening to rise up against their government if they did not get what they wanted.

The uncaring government, and the subordinate landed gentry, Industrial magnates and company sought to "Quell" this unrest by sending the Yeomanry (Soldiers / police of their day) to supress and disperse an event held in St. Peter's Field, where the ordinary people of the towns and villages had gathered to hear Henry Hunt speak concerning their rights, and it ended up with an overzealous cavalry charge through a crowd of men, women, and children that left 18 people dead... and so was recorded as the "Peterloo Massacre" of 1819 thereafter by the media of the day.

While this is one of those historical stories that is basically no more than a short article's worth to convey the essential facts, Mike Leigh delves deeper, by fleshing out the story with characters representing the people of the time and place, in a series of home-stead conversations, and set piece public speaking events.

...It is presented, therefore, as a series of discussions a lot like Chaucer's Canterbury Tales, with each conversation more like a small treatise on Civil Rights and Liberties, from home spun philosophies to great speeches and pronouncements on the subject, all leading up to the titular catastrophe, and which serve to give it context, and underline it.

This is not a conventional "drama", or period piece therefore, and is a thinking person's film, like a mediation on civil rights.... a "speaky" - "Talky" film....

...A serious study of a serious subject.

There is no music score, only the occasional piece of contemporary folk music played by characters in the film, and each frame of this movie is shot like an old oil painting by Rembrandt, or Vermeer... truly stunning cinematography!

The "everyday-ness", and ordinariness of the characters, in presenting them as people you might know, and speak to them, and their almost festive mood on the occasion of a day out to journey to the event only serves to heighten the horror of the final disaster, as it too, is unscored, and filled with only the awfulness of the various screams, and random, jutting movements of horses, people and soldiers flashing across the screen in the grim confusion of the situation as the mood turns, and it descends into hideous chaos.

An important film, therefore, and one which people, especially here in Britain ought to see, although wherever you are in the world, it's themes and events may be all too Universally understood.

If there is a criticism I have of it, it's that the film ends rather too abruptly... with no follow up of what becomes of the various characters, almost like they've served their purpose, in telling the story, then ditched... even though they have been well built up, and moulded by the actors through the rest of the film.... seems a little callous, and odd, given the movie itself is about the indifference of some sections of society toward others.

Would make a nice double feature, by way of contrast, to more mannered and reverential: The Madness Of King George... or maybe Blackadder III, as these also feature fat git parasite The Prince Regent (Later: George IV :).

6 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Great science fiction horror! 10/10

2 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

The saga that started it all!!

3 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?

Star Wars is at it’s best so far.

2 people found this review helpful.   ✔︎ Helpful Review?